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I feel... more inhuman than I was before. I feel a little left behind.

I’m not too sure how it happened, but now Youji can feel pain. It scares me and makes me nervous just touching him. I’ve never felt pain and neither has he... and it’s a big step for him. Brings him all the closer to being normal. He’s sick and so close to being normal...

But, I’m worried that it’ll effect our connection... Both our link as sacrifice and fighter and as boyfriends. I don’t ever want to fight again, but the idea of being ripped apart from my sacrifice... I love Youji more than anything and I want to be as close to him as possible, but things... are...

We still haven’t even brought up the sleepover. I... don’t... even want to think about it. I’m scared of even talking about our doubles. The other Youji didn’t get along all that great with my Youji... Nii-san... As much of it was because of the beer, I think... I think... Youji likes Nii-san. Nii-san was all over him, but...

I kinda like the other Youji. It’s not anything like how much I like – love – Youji, but it’s still there... And it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t want to like him... and everything we did was really horrible... some of it illegal... and Kio-san wouldn’t be happy at all about it... But... I just want Youji to be happy, but... everything...

I dunno...

I just want things to go back to the way they were, feeling pain or not.

[ooc. Obviously o!zero boys and Kio. xD; Yayoi too, if he wants to have couch sex with Kio.]

Youji had been shivering, at first locked into another coughing fit and then shaking to the point of jerking Natsuo out of his sleep, another of his jerks and Natsuo was fully awake. He’d never meant to fall asleep in the beginning, fuzzy mind quickly remembering Youji. His one jade eye had quickly sought his sacrifice’s face, finding it red and sweaty. Again, Natsuo was hardly reminded of Youji’s newest accomplishments; goose bumps, sweat, pain...

Again, Youji tossed in his sleep, fitfully, making a small miserable groan, followed by a whimper. Still uncertain, treating Youji like he was made of glass, Natsuo’s hand quickly found their way back to the well familiar body of his sacrifice, trying to sooth away something he didn’t know, some how make Youji better. Within seconds of his hands rubbing over Youji’s hot body, they were pathetically pushed away. Youji’s already trembling body was sent into another fit of shudders, the whimpering becoming louder, and Natsuo realized, with a bit of shock, Youji was crying. Sitting up in the bed, knees tucked under him, stunned, lost, confused, and absolutely worried, Natsuo gave his sacrifice a small nudge with delicate hands, speaking quietly, timidly, “Y-youji?”

The whisper didn’t do anything; Youji turned away a little, shivering, and crying, whimpers suddenly becoming begs. “Do... D-Don’t t-touch me,” was the first thing spilling in thick raspy stutters from Youji’s trembling lips and Natsuo was jerking away instantly, eye wide with tears and worry and shock; again, his heart was running rapid, skipping too many beats. “L-leave me alone,” Youji was begging, crying and trembling and trying to get away from Natsuo even in his sleep.

Trembling suddenly, Natsuo was stumbling out of the bed, only managing to collide hard with the floor, something that caused a small whimper. Sobbing pathetically, not sure if the sudden biting, miserable sensation had to do with the hurt of his heart, but he was already scrambling to his feet and away from his lover. The first and only destination his fuzzy mind could come up with was Kio’s room; something was wrong with Youji and he didn’t know what. Shaking and sobbing, Natsuo pounded his small fists against the door, before making pitiable attempts at rubbing away his tears.

( *blush* I found it on Youji's journal... )

Have I mentioned that I have the most perfect, the sweetest, and best boyfriend in the world? ^_^ I am really glad you liked your present!

Things have been so absolutely wonderful lately. ^_^ I’m a little embarrassed being around Kio-san now, though! But it’s all wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Perfect.

[ooc: Male Zero only~ ]

Natsuo liked the other zero. He didn’t always approve of their behavior, but they weren’t bad people. Even though they poked a lot of fun at him, he got along well enough with the both of them, enough he called them friends. However, Natsuo was dreadfully, unpleasantly aware that the other Youji detested his Youji; his boyfriend, lover, and sacrifice...

And that’s how this nightmare had begun. Natsuo had been so naive as to think that he could invite Nii-san and the other Youji over and some how convince the two Youji’s to get along.

The closer the time got for the two doubles to arrive, the more nervous Natsuo became. Red hair still damp and newly brushed Natsuo sat down on his and Youji’s bed, pulling the brush through the hair again, sighing unconsciously, and glancing at the clock. The both of them had one obvious new development and he was certain that it would be the first teasing of the night. The other Youji could be really harsh and he didn't want his Youji hurt in anyway, but...

Would they even show?

Youji and I got in a fight the other night, but we’ve made up and cleared everything up with each other. I’m hoping nothing else bad will happen now. I'll keep my fingers crossed and keep hoping~

Oh, and we’ve invited our doubles over for a sleepover. That’ll just be fun~! Until the other Youji destroys the house... I hope Kio-san doesn't mind.

And here’s a shocker; Youji and I lost our ears and tails! It is really weird and I still worry about what other people are thinking and going to think... but sooner or later, it was going to happen, but only with Youji!

Ne, I’m still happy we lost our ears together Youji~ By the way, you look really cute without them!

[ For Youji, obviously~ xD ]

With the right motivation, it hadn’t taken long at all for him to dust the house from floor to ceiling. He’d been up since dawn, rather intent on getting the majority of the house clean so he wouldn’t have to deal with it too much during on school days. Once he’d finished with the dusting, he had went right to work on the floors. The trash that had once taken over the floor was done away with, tossed in quickly filling trashcans.

Youji had been out of sight for the most of the day, which was understandable and polite – it would be boring if he just stayed around and talked to Natsuo while he was working. But now that he was done, just finishing cleaning his own self up, Natsuo thought it would be nice if he could see him. Just the night before Natsuo had been eagerly avoiding his sacrifice, afraid of him even, and now... now he couldn’t wait to for Youji to come home.

Or maybe he was already home, he thought, finally stepping out of the bathroom in a new outfit smelling of soap and pine sol, but happy. It was sunshine all day and cleaning the house... well, with Kio not home so often, it kinda felt like it was just their home. Oh, but now that ‘their’ home was clean he was ready to go have some fun.

And so, waiting for his love to reappear, he flicked through all the channels on the TV. On his third time around, Natsuo flicked the television off, interest lost. Dismally, he curled up on the sofa that was still rolled out as a bed, picking up one of his well-read books for another go, awaiting his sacrifice in boredom.... still, he was almost giddy at the notion of Youji being home soon.

[ ooc| For Natsuo’s eyes only. ]

We, Youji and I, did find a place to stay for almost nothing the only thing we can afford, but shotaluvin seems a bit off. He’s nice, wonderful, really, he did offer us a place to stay. It was just the way he was behaving, talking, pointing out the shower and the lotion and giving us these small shirts... and then that sound when me and Youji... something just doesn’t seem right. Nothing to do about it though; we need a place to stay. Besides, Youji seems happy enough.

As for my adventure with the other Natsuo and Youji, the “shopping trip” was pleasurable horrible! An absolute nightmare! I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to look Youji, my own sacrifice, in the eyes again... I can’t believe I allowed that to happen and even encouraged it.

And I really enjoyed it and wished we weren’t interrupted and that we could get together sometime and finish what we started...

I think I’m going to go slit my wrists before Youji finds out how unfaithful I’ve become. I’ve never even done anything like that with him or anyone else and yet I did with these boys that I’ve only known for a handful of days.

What is wrong with me? Is my love for Youji not enough?

Finally, it seems Youji and I have found a better place to stay! We’ll have to clean and cook, but it hardly seems like an equivalent trade... Later, we’ll have to do something special for Kio.

Also, my double, his sacrifice, and me went on a shopping trip that ended in absolute and complete chaos...

[o.o.c.| ooc!Youji and ooc!Kio will be participating. They can dictate on any other rpers.]

It was raining.

The crystal blue drops were falling hard and fast, thoroughly soaking everything and anyone unsheltered. The sky was dark, ominously so, even for night, and showed no signs of letting the moon shine anytime soon. It was late; most shops had closed or were preparing to close. Only a few people were still lingering on the rainy sidewalks and they all seemed like were in a hurry, had somewhere better to be, had a warm home to go to.

Like everything else, they were dripping wet, both curled up on a sidewalk bench. Their shirts clung to their chests like a revealing second skin and long hair drooped, dripping with water. Even to the dullest of by-passers, it was obvious these two miserable boys didn’t have anywhere better to be. Dark wet ears drooped considerably at the notion, green eyes sliding back to his sacrifice in worry. Though he couldn’t feel the night’s cold breeze nipping at him, logic told him it was.

“Youji, we should go somewhere.” Natsuo said quietly, brushing a gentle bandaged hand over his sacrifice’s head, smoothing the wet hair and ears with affection. With tired fondness, he raked his nails gently over one fair ear, before stroking it calmly. Really, he didn’t want to get up and trudge through the rain... To give a little motivation to his weary bones and to give an explanation to Youji, he added, “We’ll get sick if we stay in the rain.”